If you think what I've done with the Big Boy is crazy, wait until you see what I've done to the Berks over the last couple of months

And that's after e-mailing the FWRHS about 765.
The fact that 8Fs had only 53-54% tractive effort available at 25mph is

for me, so we're equal there.
Just remember: the locos I've modded are products of the superpower era, its main theme being "power at speed". These engines could move long, heavy trains at a good clip (Big Boys were meant to move 3000-ton trains at a sustained speed of 60mph once beyond the mountains; Union Pacific had to adjust its tonnage rating of the locomotive so many times that by the end of their careers they were pulling nearly 8000-ton trains over the Wasatch Range). Maximum tractive effort was reached at 10mph, maximum horsepower at 35mph. I work with the sources I've got, mostly from steamlocomotive.com or wikipedia (I don't prefer using wikipedia, but whatever useful information is there I gladly glean). Plus the Big Boy mod I'm revising is still technically WIP - I'm still making adjustments.
Anywho, so with what you asked:
1) I don't mess with the rolling friction coefficient or the drag coefficient as I don't know how to compute those values, or if the way you'd calculate those in real life applies to how they figure them in Railworks. I work with what I know.
2)Modding steam locos in Railworks is largely a "black art"; while we can figure amounts like steaming rate and the superheater's ability to produce steam, several other figures come from lots of trial-and-error.
3) As far as ideal firemass, all I can say is that most of the time I don't need my firemass up there unless I'm hauling heavy tonnage over a long grade. With light passenger trains, light or heavy grade, having a smaller firemass should be adequate to maintain track speed and build steam (If you've got more fire than what you need, you'll build too much steam and blow it out of the safety valves, wasting the coal/oil and water needed to make it). That being said, I don't know if it's an exact 1:1 ratio of firemass/steaming rate. You'll have to figure that out over test runs.
4) Grate limit, according to the developer docs, is the amount of coal/oil burnt in an hour (lbs/hr).
5 )I don't know what the blast discharge coefficient is. I can tell you what the blast exponent is and you can figure it out from there: blast exponent, according to the developer docs again:
"
Exhaust steam is released from the cylinders, via the blast-pipe located inside the smokebox.
Aimed up the chimney, the jet of steam blasting up through the smoke-box draws air
through the fire and along the boiler tubes and out the chimney. This parameter simulates
the efficiency of the Blast Pipe and impacts the Firebox Temperature"
6) Yes, volume is measured in cubic feet. HOWEVER this figure does not always follow the prototypical measurement of the real-life boiler, as Mrennie discovered while working on the FEF-3. You may have to increase this value to a larger-than-life figure.
7) For the superheater, use this formula: 1+(superheater area/Heating surface [tubes and flues])
Drafting effect: this is determined by trial-and-error until it "feels" right.
8) Length refers to boiler length and affects how the water behaves in the boiler on grades. Again may or may not follow to real-life figures. Adjust until it seems right to you.
9) Yep, number of strokes should always be 2; it's not like modern electric engines with fancy 4-stroke technology.
10) I'm confused by the blower values as well. I see trends as I inspect the files, and so I leave those be.
I'm still learning this as I go along; that's why I've got 2-3 versions of the same mod either released or in development

I'm by no means an expert.