I finally gave up and decided to modify my fsx.cfg file because why not. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? It keeps acting the same way? Anyways, I used the online tool on some website I don't remember because it was recommended. It gave me weird texture glitches, but didn't fix anything. I told STEAM to verify game integrity so that I could get the original DLL back. It did and I retested the game with every intention on making it crash again via the menus. It crashed and I looked at event viewer.
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Faulting application name: fsx.exe, version: 10.0.62613.0, time stamp: 0x551a6ac5
Faulting module name: unknown, version: 0.0.0.0, time stamp: 0x00000000
Exception code: 0xc0000005
Fault offset: 0x00000000
Faulting process id: 0x58c
Faulting application start time: 0x01d0dcf9272b0e05
Faulting application path: C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\FSX\fsx.exe
Faulting module path: unknown
Report Id: ff0bf08b-48f0-11e5-a55d-d43d7ef14c7e
Then I had a brain fart: if FSX worked fine in Vista (for other people. I didn't own FSX until after we got Windows 7.), then what if I tried compatibility mode? So I tried it, setting compatibility mode to "Vista SP2". It crashed again via many menu clicks.
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Faulting application name: fsx.exe, version: 10.0.62613.0, time stamp: 0x551a6ac5
Faulting module name: uiautomationcore.dll, version: 6.0.6001.18000, time stamp: 0x4791a76f
Exception code: 0xc0000005
Fault offset: 0x0001dd8f
Faulting process id: 0x1cdc
Faulting application start time: 0x01d0dd015db2b0e7
Faulting application path: C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\FSX\fsx.exe
Faulting module path: C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\FSX\uiautomationcore.dll
Report Id: 5df91e34-48f5-11e5-a55d-d43d7ef14c7e
Compatibility mode also made the texture glitches worse. So, short of dual booting Vista and 7, what else could I try? I guess I could also mention that the game crashes while changing aircraft dials too. It crashed on me once while I was changing the auto throttle speed dial in the default airbus 321 while on approach.
*PRE-POST EDIT*
I crashed the game again, not under compatibility mode, and menu-clicking crashed my game again. Similar message to the first one in this post.