Poor Knowledge of a Place

[micaelcorleone]

The German weekly magazine "Der Spiegel" has published a new book.
It's about the bizzarest adventures people have experienced on their vacation trips all around the world.
So there are also a few train stories.

The one from the USA I want to bring to you.

'USA: Poor Knowledge of a Place

During the trip with the American Coast Starlight from Seattle to Los Angeles our train
was rerouted over the Sierra Nevada due to a derailed freight train on the mainline.

There was a forced stop because our engineer wasn't familiar with the line. As we had to
wait for a driver familiar with the line, we spent the night in the coach in a siding near
Reno, Nevada.

The next morning, finally driving again, the conductor welcomed us with the words:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, now the big question: Were are we? Well, I have not the foggiest
notion."
Luckily the train reached the mainline again a few hours later.'


Claus von Horstig, Munich
source: http://www.spiegel.de/reise/fernweh/0,1518,757751-2,00.html

Train travel USA.
If you want I can translate some of the other stories.

[Samwolf]

Reminds me of this old joke.

The elderly American tourist was crossing into France from Germany. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport.

"You 'ave been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport ready for inspection."

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. You Americans alwayz 'ave to show your passports on arrival in France!"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained.

"Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

[micaelcorleone]

[harryadkins]

Wel stated!

[Toripony]

I don't usually make posts like this, but...

[micaelcorleone]

Some other stories:

'England: Best Regards to Kebap-Ali

Anouncement during a British train ride:"Ladies and Gentlemen, within a short time we'll arrive at Oxford.
All passenger who stay on the train, I promise you a wonderful travel through the Cotswolds.
Passengers who leave us in Oxford, I ask to greet Ali from the doner kebap hut in Cowley Road." '

'Suisse: Engineer Wanted

I had entered the ICE to Hamburg in Zurich which departed about five minutes late - but at a crawl.
After an unscheduled brief stop at the next commuter station there was an announcement:
"Is there by any chance an engineer aboard? This caused a nervous laughter under the passengers.
We arrived at Basel with about 15 minutes delay. It seemed an engineer had boarded there because
afterwards we continued without any further delay.'

story 1 by: Marek Hanusch, Hildesheim
story 2 by: Stephan Huxol, Winterthur, Suisse
source: http://www.spiegel.de/reise/fernweh/0,1518,757751-2,00.html

[arizonachris]

Some other stories:


"Is there by any chance an engineer aboard? This caused a nervous laughter under the passengers.
We arrived at Basel with about 15 minutes delay. It seemed an engineer had boarded there because
afterwards we continued without any further delay.'

story 1 by: Marek Hanusch, Hildesheim
story 2 by: Stephan Huxol, Winterthur, Suisse
source: http://www.spiegel.de/reise/fernweh/0,1518,757751-2,00.html

This would be like being on an airliner in route, over the ocean, and a flight attendant asking, "is there a pilot on board?" Trains don't fall out of the sky, tho.

[micaelcorleone]

'Sweden: A Kingdom for a Conductor

In the station in Västerås, Sweden: "Ladies and Gentleman, the intercity to Stockholm must be canceled due to shortage of staff.
Maybe we can manage to find a conductor for the next train. Thank you for your patience." '

'France: Sorry, we have coupled wrong

On the return trip from Spain I had booked a place in a couchette coach of the French SNCF. Actually, you could even sleep there
and that's why I didn't notice - until the first dawn - that there must be something wrong with our route.
When looking out of the window onto a cheerless French station, I read surprised that we were at Saint-Dizier at the moment, so
on direct route to Paris and not to Strasbourg were I actually wanted to travel to.

After several unsuccessful attempts of contacting, one of the attendants pittied and lapidary answered my question: "On s'est égaré."
(We traveled wrong.) Encouraged from my laughing fit, he explained to me that my coach had been coupled to the wrong train in Dijon.

Now they would desperately try to bring us back on the right track again. It seemed that some natives didn't react so understandingly
like me and they threatened the personel with hand-tight consequences in case we would miss the connecting train in Strasbourg.

It didn't happen - despite of a four hour delay. The other train had managed to knock over a cow on its way from the depot to the
station. The clearance took as long as our ghost drive through the French province.
This way we could take our planned connection without any long waiting.'

story 1 by Kristoffer S., Stockholm, Sweden
story 2 by Andreas Herrmann, Reutlingen
source: http://www.spiegel.de/reise/fernweh/0,1518,757751-3,00.html

[SCLJim]

The next morning, finally driving again, the conductor welcomed us with the words:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, now the big question: Were are we? Well, I have not the foggiest
notion."
Luckily the train reached the mainline again a few hours later.'
[/size]

Claus von Horstig, Munich
source: http://www.spiegel.de/reise/fernweh/0,1518,757751-2,00.html

Train travel USA.
If you want I can translate some of the other stories.

LOL that's pretty funny. Reminds me of something I heard while waiting to leave Tilford in Atlanta. A lot of us didn't run in or out of that yard a whole lot, or at least not regularly. Anyway,a local was inbound with another one of our crews. I heard the yardmaster tell them that he wanted them to turn their train on the wye and back in on top of another train in one of the receiving tracks. The conductor of the local promptly replied "ya'll have a wye here?" After a minute or two pause the yardmaster replied "Nevermind, we'll do something else."

On another trip I had to take a rock train into Tilford. Once cleared into the yard, the yardmaster told us we are to bring the train down the main to 4700 and re-crew there. Neither of us had a clue where 4700 was at or how far down the main. Luckily we spotted someone on the ground and asked before we had to embarrass ourselves over the radio.

[jp4712]

The story about the US ex-serviceman in France reminds me of a story that may or may not be true about a BEA (British European Airways, now part of BA) pilot in the 1960s...

A BEA Trident landed at Frankfurt-am-Main and was told to taxi to gate so-and-so. On leaving the runway the plane stopped as the crew consulted the airport plan to check their route to the terminal. The tower did not like the stop and asked why the plane was at a standstill. On being told why, the tower said "Bealine 547, you need a map? Haff you not been to Frankfurt before?" "Oh yes, old boy, in 1944: but it was dark...and we didn't stop..."

[Samwolf]